I have a friend I've never met before. 
It's true. 
Here's a little jazz I'll share with you folks.
I have a pen pal. 

Yep, going on 7 years now. Totally platonic and never got weird. I do think if fate had been a bit different with location we would have spent a lot of time together laughing. He lives on the other side of the USA from me and over the years has strangely created himself an all important role as "The Pen Pal and his comedic relief",  guest starring in The Weird Life of Molly. 

I firmly believe everyone should have a pen pal who lives on the other side of wherever from you, who is pretty much the same age as you so your pop culture references rock, loves the beauty of words as much as you do, and enjoys friendships and humor. It's fun. And they'll keep you sane.

Do you ever have those random string of days where things seem just extra boring and it's that "same ol' same ol'" mid-day routine day after day? I guess it's called being an adult? (Just kidding,... sort of).
Well I get 'em too and I'm lucky to be able to say I have found the golden miracle, cure relief, it's my pen pal, Ryan! 
Selling my creations  requires a lot of computer time so I spend a lot of hours with my computer on. Occasionally, right in the middle of the day I'll get a little Facbook ding telling me I have a message. 

And like a golden ray of sunshine direct from the gods themselves, out of the blue, right when I'm mid-day dragging and need it, is a totally random-something-question-factoid along the lines of this  -
excerpt of actual Facebook IM between myself (a one time Catholic high school girl) and my pen pal (an atheist):

Molly: The Catholics just contacted me. They invited me to advertise/sell my St. Michael bracelet on their website. Top Catholic online site, best SEO, 3.5 - 4.5 million hits per month, etc. Yep, I'm going to do it. I'm going to call this guy back again. Cross your fingers for me... in a cross, cross. I want to be rich. From the Catholics.

 Ryan: Horray!
Congrats. Maybe you should bury a "666" in the design somehow.

 Molly: They already know I have Satan in the design. It's
St. Michael defeating Satan.
for the congrats.
thank for congrat
WTF? My fingers are having a stroke or something.

or it's god...

Ryan: Striking you down for your heresy.

Molly: Or I'm typing too fast. I'll show you when it's on there.

Ryan:  Might be time to add some more liturgical items to the store

I don't know that I'm allowed on Catholic websites
I was baptized Lutheran

Molly: Careful, your computer might burst into flames. I totally am going to add more saint bracelets. I've been talking to this dude from the site and he suggested it and showed me their link to the top 10 saints. Is it bad I want to make cold hard cash off saints?

Ryan: Hell no! The church itself does. Why shouldn't a real person be able to cash in?

Molly: Thanks for the green light, Ryan. ha! ha!

Ryan: There's a saint for everything. Is there a patron saint of prostitutes?

Holy shit there is!

Molly:  I was just googling.

Ryan:  It's fucking Santa Claus!

Molly:  I almost peed my pants.

Ryan:  I'm serious! Saint Nicholas - 
"Saint Nicholas, commonly associated with Santa Claus, is said to have aided the poor father of three marriageable girls who could not afford their dowries. To save them from a life of prostitution (a common fate for unmarried women in third-century Asia Minor), he dropped three sacks of gold down their father's chimney late one night. (Sound like another St. Nick we know?) Thus, he is known as the patron saint of prostitutes."

Molly:  I love Christmas even more now.

Ryan: Definitely gonna change how I celebrate the holiday.

Molly:  So Santa really IS saying ho, ho, ho.

Ryan: ha! 

Molly: Alright, I have to get back to work. Thanks for playing with me.

Ryan: Me too! Congrats again

And, with that, the interaction is over and I don't hear from him for a month or so. 
Genius, I tell ya. Genius.

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